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July 25th, 2002
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Scientists Perfect the Wireless Video Camera |
Astonishing New Technology Promises Security, Fun; But Some Fear Its Awesome Power May Fall Into the Wrong Hands
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Science - In a starting revelation, jubilant scientists today announced the successful construction of the world's first wireless video camera, a futuristic invention once thought to be decades away from reality.
"By making this announcement, I run the risk of stretching credulity," said John Bork, professor of electronic engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and one of the co-inventors of the incredible new camera. "But the wireless video camera has finally become reality."
Bork went on to boast of the many possible uses of the camera. "This device can be used to monitor activities in the home, or in the office," he said. "You can use it to watch and record everything on your TV, PC or VCR. In short, you can use it for security and fun."
The announcement was not met with universal approbation. "This invention is as dangerous as it is unexpected," said Carlos Menendez, spokesman for the Council on International Relations. "We are troubled by the fact that the United States, and no other nation, is in possession of this technology. If Americans, and only Americans, can use the amazing wireless video camera for security and fun, what's to stop the U.S. from becoming an all-powerful empire that imposes its will on the world?"
Menendez went on to explain that the invention creates a 'camera gap' between the United States and other major world powers that could destabilize the global balance of power.
The announcement was immediately followed by rampant speculation that potentially dangerous countries such as Iraq and North Korea may be trying to develop a wireless video camera of their own.
"Now that this technology has been unleashed upon the world, we must consider the ramifications," said Senator Pamela Burke (D-Ariz.) of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. "We must accept the fact that we may one day live in a world where the Chinese, the Russians, or the Iraqis will have the technology to monitor any room of the house from a PC, TV or VCR up to 100 feet away. The very thought chills me to the bone."
CIA Director George Tenet scoffed at the notion. "We have been monitoring nations like Iraq, China and North Korea by satellite," he said, "and I can assure you that they are decades away from developing a device like this one. Americans can go to bed at night safe in the knowledge that only the United States, the greatest nation on earth, has the ability to use the wireless video camera for security and fun."
President Bush hailed the development of the camera. "This powerful new technology puts America in a new position of global dominance," Bush said in an address to the nation. He then announced the creation of a new Cabinet-level Department of Security and Fun to manage and protect the new technology.
"We must remember," Bush said in conclusion, "with great power comes great responsibility. This device in in our hands, and we must only use it for good."
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