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July 13th, 2002
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Bush Calls Shenanigans |
Desperate President Invokes Obscure Constitutional Power
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Politics - President Bush, under fire from critics on a variety of issues and struggling to maintain control of the economy, homeland security and foreign relations, launched a surprising counterattack today by calling shenanigans.
"The news media of this country have criticized me for allegedly unethical business dealings," Bush said in an address to the nation. "But that very media establishment is run by greedy corporations that thrive on questionable business practices. To the press, I say, shenanigans on you."
The President is authorized to call shenanigans based on a little-known provision in Article II, Section 5 of the U.S. Constitution. That article states that, "The President shall have the Power, when circumstances warrant, to call Shenanigans on those Persons, Parties and States from whence the Shenanigans originate."
Bush's call of shenanigans was not limited to the news media. "Private industry in this country has brought disgrace upon itself through deceptive accounting practices and evasion of responsibility," he said. "Corporate America, I call shenanigans on you."
"But that is not all," Bush continued. "Yasser Arafat, you claim to be working toward the goal of peace in the Holy Land. Yet at the same time, you directly support terrorist acts by Palestinian extremists. Yasser Arafat, I call shenanigans on you."
In the remainder of his 30-minute address, Bush proceeded to call shenanigans on Congress, Saddam Hussein, Martha Stewart, the New York Yankees, and Ozzy Osbourne.
This marks the first time that Bush has used the power to call shenanigans. The last time the power was invoked was in 1998, when President Bill Clinton called shenanigans on independent counsel Kenneth Starr for his investigations into the Whitewater and Monica Lewinsky scandals.
Many observers were critical of Bush's move. "Bush is trying to solve all his problems in a single stroke," said liberal commentator and former political strategist James Carville. "But the fact is, he's just using this as a ruse to distract the nation from his failed leadership. George W. Bush, I call shenanigans on you."
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