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March 6th, 2004
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I Feel So Much Safer Now That Martha Stewart Is Off The Streets |
By Janet Holworthy, Working Mother
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Janet Holworthy and her youngest daughter, Emily |
I'm a mother of three, and like a lot of mothers, I worry constantly. I worry that one of my children might fall prey to violence or drugs. I worry that I might get laid off and lose my medical insurance. And, not least of all, I worry that my family will be victimized by the criminal machinations of a greedy, crooked homemaker. Now that Martha Stewart has been found guilty and will soon be serving time, I have one less thing to worry about. I feel so much safer now that that horrible woman is off the streets.
Martha was convicted of making false statements, conspiracy, and obstruction of justice. We all know these are gateway crimes. If she hadn't been stopped, Martha would have moved on to extortion, drug dealing, and probably murder. It was only a matter of time before she would have built a vast and unstoppable criminal empire. (A tastefully decorated one, of course.) If the justice system hadn't put her behind bars where she belongs, the streets would have quickly become too dangerous for my children.
Until now, celebrities and corporate bigshots have gotten a "get out of jail free" card. O.J. Simpson got away with murder. Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting and got only a slap on the wrist. Top executives at corrupt companies like Enron and Halliburton have gone unpunished. Martha Stewart is both a celebrity and a corporate bigshot, so I'll bet she thought she could get away with anything.
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| It was only a matter of time before Martha would have built a vast criminal empire. (A taste-fully decorated one, of course.) |
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Think again, Martha. You've finally been brought to justice, and that has shown the world that corporate celebrities are no longer safe from the long arm of the law. Take heed, Oprah, Regis, and Emeril - we'll be watching you.
Celebrities can't be immune from the law, because the law has to apply to everyone equally. If it didn't, corruption and exploitation would be rampant in our society. Corporations would use deceptive bookkeeping to make their revenues look larger and their stock prices rise. Lawyers would manipulate the law for private gain at the public's expense. And perhaps even our trusted government would use accounting tricks and rhetorical gymnastics to disguise irresponsible fiscal policies that give tax breaks to the wealthy and rob our children of their future.
I'm so relieved that I won't have to scare my children with real-life horror stories like these. Now that Martha Stewart is going away, I can sleep more peacefully at night. My sweet, innocent children don't understand what Martha has done wrong. They just know that she's a wicked person who wants to hurt them. Sometimes, when I tuck them into bed, one of them asks me, "Mom - is Martha Stewart going to come and get me?" Now, I can say, without an ounce of doubt in my heart: "No, my darling. No."
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