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November 6th, 2018
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Future News Division:
Entertainment Party Wins Majority In Congress |
Voters Swayed By "Fun For America" Platform
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November 6th, 2018 - The National Entertainment Party made history today, dominating the midterm Congressional elections to gain a majority of seats in both the Senate and the House of Representatives and a clear mandate for its amusement-based ideology.
The party was given a strong boost by the continued popularity of President Walken, who campaigned heavily for Entertainment candidates and their "Fun For America" platform. That platform promises weekly televised brawls in the Senate chamber, increased funding for the Department of Comedy, and at least one national sex scandal involving cricket bats.
Many Entertainment candidates were victorious in spite of - or because of - their lack of knowledge and experience in politics. House candidate David Schwimmer, for example, won New York's 13th District on his 'Make Friends With The World' platform, in which he made a vague promise to use his influence to improve relations with foreign countries, of which he could only name four.
Entertainment also earned points with many voters by criticizing Democratic and Republican incumbents. Senator Willis (E-Calif.) easily won his re-election bid, saying that the formerly Democratic-controlled Congress had "allowed America to lose its position as the world's leader in action and adventure." Willis vowed to use his seat on the Senate Explosion Committee to alleviate what he called the "thrill gap."
Meanwhile, success continued to elude the Scientology Party, which still has not recovered from the crushing defeat of its Cruise/Travolta ticket in the 2016 Presidential election. Scientology managed to win only three House seats, all of them in southern Florida. In exit polls, voters who were asked why they did not vote for Scientology candidates overwhelmingly selected "Can't take them seriously" as their number-one reason.
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